George W. Bush Says Happy Pride

The Bush years were really something.

There’s a YouTube clip I can’t stop watching.

It’s George W. Bush in 2002. He’s on the golf course, discussing the war on terror while he tees up. “I call upon all nations to do everything they can to stop these terrorist killers,” he says in his Texas twang. Then he furrows his brow to indicate he means business and adds, “Now watch this drive.”

The Bush years were absolutely wild. They’ve been on my mind recently because it’s Pride (for those who still celebrate), and my queerness is deeply intertwined with the Bush administration. I spent the summer of 2003 trying to navigate a deathly crush at my all-girls summer camp while Dick Cheney rummaged through Iraq in search of a reason to launch another invasion. The war in Afghanistan needed a buddy, evidently. And I needed to make out with the counselor in the cabin next door. Both of us failed, but neither of us was deterred by failure. False confidence is a helluva drug. “Now watch this drive.”

Whenever I think about my panicky, frenzied coming-out years, I immediately hear the swoosh and whack of Bush’s golf swing. Also, Chingy’s “Right Thurr.” As soon as that stinky beat drops, I remember 14-year-old me at camp, trying to remain calm as I walked past a tennis court full of girls in sports bras practicing their overhead serves.

I had no idea what was going on in the Middle East when I was a teenager. I doubt I was the only one. Unlike the Vietnam War, the war on terror didn’t ignite a wave of youth protests and music. There’s no musical equivalent to CCR’s “Fortunate Son” from that time. Look at the charts and what you’ll find instead is a nation of distracted teens ruining their parents’ lives by playing Nelly’s “Hot in Herre” on repeat. It’s a remarkable contrast. We were sending thousands of troops to fight a meaningless war to the sound of J-Kwon’s “Tipsy.”